Power of Choice

Jan 23, 2015

 

I've had enough!!!

There has to be more to life than being hurt, depressed and frustrated all the time! TV wasn't helping. Eating while getting fat wasn't helping either! While other people were living their lives to the fullest with their loving friends, I was moping around feeling sorry for myself. Something had to change!

But what?! And how?!

In 2010, I was taking art and architecture courses at CCSF to pursue other interesting subjects in the world. I did my course work and took many naps in the library. Sometimes, I would put my studies aside to read other books that seemed interesting as I browsed the non-fiction and magazine sections. Psychology Today was the magazine to read!
One day, I stumbled upon the self-help/religious section where I found books featuring the teachings of the Dalai Lama. Was this the answer to my problems? I read it... I meditated, but I needed another perspective. So I went back to that section to read 50 other books from different authors. Everyone seemed to be saying the same thing, but something wasn't clicking especially since its my first exposure.
One of the first books that spoke to me was a simple read from Thích Nhất Hạnh. It must have been his simple style of writing that made it easier to understand, resonating within me. Even then, I still had to let things sink in and wrap my mind around most of his teachings to fully get it.
Enjoy washing dishes? Smile as I breath in?
Why would anyone do that? I can't smile while I meditate! I will look ridiculous especially here in the library! I stopped reading that book and took a nap.
Three times a week, I returned to the same bookshelf where I could find similar but different topics on self-help. For most books, I would just read the words, but I wouldn't have a clue of what the last 20 pages were about. I tried meditation to quiet my mind, which seemed the easiest and showed the most progress but my thoughts were still negative and hurtful to my well-being.
Eventually, I would practice what Thích Nhất Hạnh suggested. Washing dishes is... fun... It didn't work. So I decided to go into nature and smile with myself and the flowers. That, along with meditation, did calm my thoughts down. In 2011, I was a much calmer person, but my thoughts were still on auto pilot and negative. What will it take for me to not have these thoughts?
Whenever I would hear the names of my former friends, my heart would race and I would immediately get angry. I still had some contact with them, but in order for me to change my negative habits, I would need to cut off all contact. My battle with my former friends became an internal battle with myself. My automatic responses were negative and prompting much needed change. Meditation helped, but I wanted more research and information to develop intellectually and be more open to new ideas. I continued to read to grasp these concepts.
As I slowly progressed throughout the year, some of the books that I've reread made more sense than the first few times. Things began to click in my head as I exposed myself to the same concepts from different books and perspectives. [Even now in 2015, if I were to read the same books, I would interpret something new] I was finally grasping the ideas due to the amount of exposure and attention I was giving to this topic. Doors for new information have been opening up for me and I continued to pursue the journey for a zen lifestyle.
From 2010 to 2011, I've spent two years learning about meditation and calming the mind. Then in 2012, I was ready to graduate from meditation and explore other information sources. With an open and calm mind, I explored many talks including the law of attraction, the simple physics of energy and how we are the creators of our own reality. I didn't believe any of these topics were possible, because we were never taught any of these subjects in school. It took awhile for me to grasp these ideas, but after three additional years of exposure, in conjunction with my continued meditation practice, I finally see things clearly in 2015.

Learning about the law of attraction and how we have the power of choice and emotion has helped me tremendously to become a more confident individual. Solving problems has never been easier with solutions appearing before a problem even arises. Great things happen to me and my life is amazing!
In five years, I have learned to practice the following into my lifestyle.

• We are all-powerful beings
  • power of choice
    • positive and negative belief systems
  • power of emotions & momentum
    • intention
    • energy vibrations
  • loving kindness
    • forgiving oneself and others
    • compassion to all
  • mindfulness / awareness

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We all the power of choice to achieve happiness in our lives. It is up to you to take control of how you want to live.

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Reinvention

I practice mindful and positive thinking on a regular basis. My constant reinvention enables me to be more open to share my story.I empower people to follow their happiness and see the world with more love in their hearts.

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